Motherhood & Homemaking

This morning after breakfast I turned on PBS for the kids and went upstairs to clean up. I could hear that the kids were entertaining themselves because of Brookie's high pitched squealing and giddy laughter. I assumed they turned the fan on and were putting small balloons over it to watch them "magically" fly up into the air. This usually provokes the uncontainable squealing and laughter. However, I went downstairs to find a shivering Brooke sitting on my drenched couch. I asked what happened and Jace said " they were just dirty and I was cleaning them". I'm just glad it wasn't juice. The following is what happened yesterday.

Sometimes I get So frustrated that my house can absolutely NOT stay clean. I honestly try but sometimes I wonder what the point of cleaning it is? Of course, if I didn't try to stay up on it then my house would turn into dump and I hate living in a cluttered mess so I go from task to task every day only to turn around to find this . . .


. . . . yes, my child, the walls, the floor, hurricane Brooke arrived.



I of course put her into the bath, clean her up, put the smelly good Johnson + Johnson lotion on, comb her hair, and go downstairs to get a night night milk for her and this is what I find when I return . . .


. . . she's back in the tub fully clothed in her jammies.






Sometimes, I feel like I'm loosing the parenting game. I can't keep up. Also, the last couple nights she has been crying when we put her to bed. She never did this before. She used to just drink her milk and go right to sleep and sleep through the night. I've been trying to stay consistent and just let her cry it out. We already learned the hard way that we don't want to bring her into our bed because then it takes forever to get them out. Jace slept in our bed until he was almost 2 and I am NOT doing that again. I always feel horrible when I hear her crying though and I always wonder if she's crying just to get us to come in there and get her or if she's uncomfortable and needs help of some sort . . teething, maybe she's wet or can't go to sleep because she's cold and I feel guilty but I have to stay put because if I go in there then she will cry even harder when I put her back down. It's the worst when I can hear her yelling "MAMMA HEP HEP" . .in other words mommy help! Finally, after she had been crying for like 45 min straight Craig and I decided to go check on her only to find that she had taken her pants and diaper off and had peed all over her crib so she was wet and freezing cold. I felt HORRIBLE and to boot . .she wouldn't go to me. She only wanted to be comforted by daddy because she was mad at me. She stayed up for 20 min giving Craig snuggles and giving us a sermon about how she "need Jace" even when we told her that he was sleeping. Craig asked if she was ready to go back to bed and the reply was "nope". I got her some more warm night night milk and warm jammies and put her into her crib with fresh sheets and blankets. I wish being a mother was easier some days. I know I'm just venting and rambling and I do LOVE being a mother. I'm actually completely baby hungry again. I do however find solace in reading Nickolas Sparks books and temporarily escaping. He's a great writer . .I know you have heard of him. Several of his books have been adapted into movies . .The Notebook, Nights in Rodanthe, Message in a bottle, and A Walk to Remember. I'm usually crying by the end of the book and have more appreciation for my own circumstances . . even if it is cleaning up messes . . .it's cleaning up messes of a family that I love and would do anything for. Sometimes, I forget how appreciative I am that I have a husband that works his butt off so I can stay home and be a mother and homemaker. The job that I have always wanted. I just need to get through the daily confusion and find what's really important in my life . . teaching my children the importance of the gospel through kindness, patience, and example. This post was mostly just for me to put thoughts into words and come to a realization that I am one lucky woman.